| Update |
[May. 4th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
curtains at twilight,
a days fortune
framed against
tomorrows torture
and the smoke knows
and the mist laughs
and lingers in my lungs
like a ghost from a dream
who imagines never not
shifting, slipping like
the gravel from my feet
to the outer regions
of a footstep
of a handprint
to the lonesome expanse
of strained matter.
Thought I'd update, been absent and away. Two more weeks then my life can finally, finally, finally...awww fuck it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|09:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | grooved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | peace frogs | ] |
shout outs and insanity
look i'm here
still here
still here
too bad for the nay-sayers
and public opinion
glad everyones doing nicely
i don't have to ask i know you're fine
and remember to buy yourself some fancy drugs,
for this weekend is the celebration
of just some random weekend
in your pale horizon,
stretching wide,
in denile. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|11:51 am] |
Ground rules: The first player of this "game" writes "Five Weird Habits of Yourself" and the people who get tagged need to then write their five quirky little habits as well as state the rules of this game clearly. In the end, you need to list the next five people who you want to tag, and then go on to leave a tag comment on their LJ.
1. I get so "into" music I often forget what I'm doing, where I'm going, several times I've almost wrecked a car because of this. Also when I find a song I like I listen to it compulsively, sometimes like 30 times a day.
2. I buy lighters at every opportunity that arises.
3. I can't stop looking up things on dictionary.com / wikipedia its terrible.
4. I don't talk most of the time, pretty bad habit I guess.
5. I have a bad habit of sleeping in the woods when I get drunk. It's kind of embarrasing.
Well that's about it. I'm mostly wierd habit free(I'm a well balanced person), but I had to do this because I got tagged apparently. I have no one to tag, so so so so so |
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| The Mariner's Revenge Song |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|08:39 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Decemberists | ] |
We are two mariners
Our ships' sole survivors
In this belly of a whale
Its ribs are ceiling beams
Its guts are carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill
You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen
But I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave
At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
Oh Ohhhhh
You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet
And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease
As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
Oh Ohhhhh
And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind
And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind
Then one day, in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
Oh Ohhhhh
"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
*sigh*"
It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street
Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat
But never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever, once, turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
Oh Ohhhhh
One night I overheard
The prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea
The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for a wanton cruelty
The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer
And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear...
Oh Ohhhhh
"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
"There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"
[haunting, sailor-esque musical interlude lead by mandolin, accordion and tuba]
And then that fateful night
We had you in our sight
After twenty months at sea
Your starboard flank abeam
I was getting my muskets clean
When came this rumbling from beneath
The ocean shook
The sky went black
And the captain quailed
And before us grew
The angry jaws
Of a giant whale
[instrumental noise]
oh ohhhhhhhhhh
[screaming]
ohhhhh
[screaming]
Don't know how I survived
The crew all was chewed alive
I must have slipped between his teeth
But, oh! What providence!
What divine intelligence!
That you should survive
As well as me
It gives my heart
Great joy
To see your eyes fill with fear
So lean in close
And I will whisper
The last words you'll hear
Ohh Ohhhhh |
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| bitch central |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sufjan stevens | ] |
i hate fucking stubborn idiots. it's the worst way to go through life. most probably the single most selfish trait. i hope hell was made for narrowminded ego freaks. |
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| Samhain |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|01:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pleasant peasant | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Calm Like a Bomb | ] |
When did halloween become such a big deal? I feel like I celebrate it now more than I ever did as a child. Before it was about candy and that was it. Now it's still about candy, but also endless parties, drinking, drugs, and dressing up. Before I would dress up to get candy, and now I just dress up for the hell of it. It seriously went on for like 5 days. 5 days? That's like making it bigger than christmas. Or atleast half as big as christmas. What was I going to say? Oh yeah, lately I've been feeling worried about what the hell it is I've been doing and what I'm going to do when I get out of here. At the same time I'm not that worried. I trust in the peculiar forces that have caught me every time I've fallen. I can't hit the ground, no matter how hard I try. It is a very nice day here in plymouth. The foliage looks good today for the first time to me, and the temperature is a perfect replica of fall-like turning. It was a good weekend though, I got to drink alot of booze and run around campus in a panic. I'm looking forward to going home for thanksgiving. And to those who read this, we need to organize some type of thanksgiving dinner where we can smoke and drink and eat and be happy maggots. Well, it is nice out. Think I'll walk downtown to rent a movie and buy a bottle of wine. Later friends. |
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| Alone with Myself |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|04:51 pm] |
I,
pale aquarium dweller,
endangered lover
to the slow vibrations. |
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| vitamins grow boys |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|12:54 pm] |
i can feel the influences of college, i can see them too.
at the end of this year we will all be crazy, and thats when you know you're an adult. |
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| Blank |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|12:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | BRMC | ] |
i really haven't had anything to say for a while, and today is no exception. |
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| Where is Love? |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|03:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | altered | ] |
| [ | music |
| | LCD Soundsystem | ] |
god, i'm fucking tired. if i had any reason to post i would have done it already. most the people here obey the traffic ordinances. it helps them get through middle school on a two dollar a day family sent lunch expense account. but all they are serving is a breaking of habits and fifty nine nurses. you better eat up, the tribal fire ceremonies of the nameless tribe are driving me wild. if they only knew the countless people who go through life without a mirror, dazzling themselves with lines they wrote, lines they thought were so bullet proof. i roll out a carpet of ideas that stun their ego mistake, burns their cheeks, rapes their thought monuments. shining, polished, night stone. |
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| being lazy |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|04:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blonde on blonde | ] |
just submitted some poetry to the poetry/prose book/magazine thing they have at school here and i'm almost positive it will get accepted because i feel my writing is so superior to anything else going on right now at this lame school although there is always the chance i've developed some creepy american idol style complex where i think i can sing but all i'm really doing is running my nails down a chalkboard. |
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| I Need to Reboot |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|09:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | BJM - you have been disconnected | ] |
i'm having having trouble eating, sleeping, doing any work, getting to class on time, bathing, functioning outside, caring, talking, thinking, dreaming, participating, reading, writing, cooking, cleaning, owning, holding, walking, shopping, emoting, remembering, living in this strange grey space between total social dimentia and the semblance of keeping it together. |
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| credit card christmas (in september) |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|02:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | clean | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dylan on the road again | ] |
damn i've been spending alot of money lately and i haven't even purchased books yet. lots of booze, a wireless net adapter, some posters (bob dylan, slavador dali, and one that has "wine cellar" written on it), a 9800pro video card because i'm sick of my mx 440 (so very shiity), i did buy some books but they were for fun, and some shirts that weren't particularly cheap. at this rate my money will be gone by next thursday. hopefully this is the end, after books of course. then all i'll have to buy is booze. |
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| Something Five Layers Deep |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|08:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | here | ] |
| [ | music |
| | marc bolan | ] |
this entry was made in my notebook before summer ended, just found it thought i'd add it if only a little late.
What a shattered dream. This journal meant to document every single silly adventure of this summer and barely did. Tomorrow marks the final day in the final summer vacation of my life. A gentle passing of something which up until now has been a major feature in my existence. Now no more. I think I might have spent this one well. If anyone anywhere ever has. Still, I'll feel sadness once it has passed, like the death of a realy fun aunt who you only knew in play. Apparently the "real" world is what lies in wait at the end of this long tunnel. Which makes me wonder where I've been doing most of my living. The fake world? DisneyLand? Has it all been some childish gettaway where pain is love and death is candy? Personally I don't think it can get any more real than this. I don't believe any adult or traditional business man could deal with my reality. No, they are the ones choking down a bitter dream. Dulling down life with one worry to the next. Watching the trees turn as their hair falls out and their teeth rot out and their tongue goes green. Wishing they hadn't been so serious when they were younger. Wishing they could have just one more summer. |
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| drinking up the rest of the summer |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|01:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frazzled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my own amazing compositions | ] |
ummm, do i have things to do? maybe. but i'm gonna go float in the pool. perhaps go to the bar...
what a summer. |
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| totally conical |
[Aug. 20th, 2005|03:51 pm] |
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i'm such an insane fiend. the constant drinking isn't helping either. destroyed the competition in beirut last night and as i was heading out i felt the need to creep around the apartment complex totally wasted. there was a rather nice pool so i climbed over the fence and sat by it for a while and found a cigarette mostly intact. it was a little damaged but hey i'm a bum. aparently i thought i would be needing a traffic cone. i don't think i do. anyone want one? |
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| crunchy |
[Aug. 15th, 2005|05:51 pm] |
sometimes people will ask me what my favorite animal is.
i'll look at them and tell them it's the squid.
when they ask me why it's the squid.
i just stare back at them and wonder if they've ever known one.
it has nothing in common with me and i'll never know what it is to be one.
our priorities are mostly unmatched. if there were life on other planets, i'm pretty sure they might look something like squids, writhing in shallow tide pools near the coast of a mineral mountain. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2005|09:43 am] |
man who posts at 8am? thats a time slot reserved for really crazed individuals who have evolved past the need for a day/night cycle. defying the planetary movements and years of instinct because it doesn't fit into their own crippled sense of duty and achievment. i've become the hated citizen running down the road to no particular place before the sun has even risen, while normal people are driving to work wishing they could get away with just one hit and run in their life. there's nothing more arogant than flaunting ones own repugnant abundance of time and total lack of class by running on the side of the road wearing bright runners shorts forcing bleary eyed commuters to desperately swerve to avoid phantom lawsuits.
damn i need to call out of work.
work sucks.
well it was 8 when i started writing. |
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| breakfast with andre |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|09:08 am] |
And the old one just walked by. The window. The sentence still finished. I really enjoyed My Dinner with Andre. The ying and the yang sometimes agree. The structured boredom and sense of duty and the humanity drawing you toward the moment with the power of what can be done now. Almost animal to strip away expectations and representations. Cycles & Roles. Like a great big factory shitting out prescription disneyland goggles that sit in the sun baking, melting themselves into the dirt because no one can find the stop button. Anyway the movie had great affect on me. Loved the dreamscapesurrealistic tone. The mind is infinitely more exciting than any car chase. I wonder where we are going together. Slipping down away. Open your eyes and see where you go. It got me thinking in a heavy mood. Soak up the beat. The driving rythm. Pushing you forward. Move. Down the river. The rapids may take you under but atleast you will have ended up in a different place. When they find your body they'll know you gave it a shot.
I need a break. |
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| lyrics or something |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|08:35 pm] |
thats all she left me
thats all she left me
two pillows and no sheets
two pillows and no she he he he heets
yeah
thats all she left me
haha
i amuse myself |
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